The 10 commandments of driving

[obi_waynne]

Let's write a definite 10 commandments of driving. What suggestions do you have that should be included?

1) Though shalt not hog the middle lane.
2) Though shalt always indicate when turning.

I'm sure you can come up with some pretty inventive ones...

 

[dpsubaru]

3) Though shalt not lose concentration whilst ogling the pretty girls

 

[indiaman]

Waynne, below is a "Ten commandments" of driving as issued by the vatican some time ago:
The Vatican today published a 35-page document detailing proper road use and the rules of car ownership. The centerpiece of the “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road” is a collection of 10 “commandments” for drivers.
“Cars tend to bring out the ‘primitive’ side of human beings, thereby producing rather unpleasant results,” the document reads. “Cars particularly lend themselves to being used by their owners to show off, and as a means for outshining other people and arousing a feeling of envy.”
Drivers must avoid behaving in an “unsatisfactory and even barely human manner” when driving. They must also refrain from “unbalanced behavior … impoliteness, rude gestures, cursing, [and] blasphemy.”
The Ten Commandments for road use are as follows:
1. You shall not kill.
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
6. Charitably convince the young and not-so-young not to drive when they are not in a fit condition to do so.
7. Support the families of accident victims.
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
10. Feel responsible towards others

 

[bigbadjoe]

4) Thou shall not let out old people, as they never let me out.
5) Thou shall not tail gate people.

 

[turbonutter69]

Thou shall not try to drift in a FWD car with Maccy-D's trays. "They Burn Through to quickly"

 

[coupe]

though shalt not cut me up on the moterway and expect to get away with it.

 

[Loz]

"And Glod spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the Instructor your Glod…

ONE: 'You shall have not have a larger engine than Me.'

TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a pratany likeness of an Audi Quattro, Lancia Stratos, Metro 6R4, Ford GT40 or even a Cobra unless you really know what your doing.'

THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the manufacturer of our car in vain.'

FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, & drive upto the speed limit & not 15mph below it.'

FIVE: 'Honor your roundabout and your indicators.'

SIX: 'You shall not murder except on a really bad day when everyone is in the middle lane.'

SEVEN: 'You shall not commit mechaphilia , unless the garage is locked & no ones looking.'

EIGHT: 'You shall not steal, car aerials when your blind drunk.'

NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness to the insurance company.'

TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's car; you shall not covet your neighbor's wifes car, nor his male servants car, nor his female servants car, nor his ox (because he can't afford a car), nor his quad, nor anything that is your neighbor's, including he's VHS collection of Topgear.'

 

[ronniecalcutta]

"And Glod spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the Instructor your Glod…

ONE: 'You shall have not have a larger engine than Me.'

TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a pratany likeness of an Audi Quattro, Lancia Stratos, Metro 6R4, Ford GT40 or even a Cobra unless you really know what your doing.'

THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the manufacturer of our car in vain.'

FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, & drive upto the speed limit & not 15mph below it.'

FIVE: 'Honor your roundabout and your indicators.'

SIX: 'You shall not murder except on a really bad day when everyone is in the middle lane.'

SEVEN: 'You shall not commit mechaphilia , unless the garage is locked & no ones looking.'

EIGHT: 'You shall not steal, car aerials when your blind drunk.'

NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness to the insurance company.'

TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's car; you shall not covet your neighbor's wifes car, nor his male servants car, nor his female servants car, nor his ox (because he can't afford a car), nor his quad, nor anything that is your neighbor's, including he's VHS collection of Topgear.'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. It made me laugh all the night !

 

[obi_waynne]

Great post Loz! Did you know Moses then?

 

[indiaman]

"And Glod spoke all these words, saying: 'I am the Instructor your Glod…

ONE: 'You shall have not have a larger engine than Me.'

TWO: 'You shall not make for yourself a pratany likeness of an Audi Quattro, Lancia Stratos, Metro 6R4, Ford GT40 or even a Cobra unless you really know what your doing.'

THREE: 'You shall not take the name of the manufacturer of our car in vain.'

FOUR: 'Remember the Sabbath day, & drive upto the speed limit & not 15mph below it.'

FIVE: 'Honor your roundabout and your indicators.'

SIX: 'You shall not murder except on a really bad day when everyone is in the middle lane.'

SEVEN: 'You shall not commit mechaphilia , unless the garage is locked & no ones looking.'

EIGHT: 'You shall not steal, car aerials when your blind drunk.'

NINE: 'You shall not bear false witness to the insurance company.'

TEN: 'You shall not covet your neighbor's car; you shall not covet your neighbor's wifes car, nor his male servants car, nor his female servants car, nor his ox (because he can't afford a car), nor his quad, nor anything that is your neighbor's, including he's VHS collection of Topgear.'

And add this for India"Thou shalt not steal bonnet and boot emblems from parked cars"

 

[turbonutter69]

 

[Loz]

Great post Loz! Did you know Moses then?

I not sure about Moses, but one of my Uncles can part the sea when he dives in!

 

[starsey107]

Ten Commandments of Driveing

1)thou shall not breath on my car
2)thou shall not borrow my car
3)thou shall comment kindly about my car
4)thou shall not park beside me unless u no how to park
5)thou shall have not have a larger engine than Me.
6)thou shall not murder except when a redneck pulls out in front of u
7)thou shall not presume i dont no anything about cars because im a girl
8)thou shall not crash into my car and drive away
9)thou shall not over take me when im doing 120km
10)thou shall ask 4 my advice on your car interior

 

[bigbadjoe]

To the mechanics when getting car serviced

Thou shall not adjust one's seat, except for backwards and forwards!!!!!!

 

[ronniecalcutta]

I not sure about Moses, but one of my Uncles can part the sea when he dives in!

HAHAHAHAHA ..... do you have a relationship with Laurel or Hardie? :bigsmile:

 

[Loz]

I have a passing resemblance to Stan Laurel. :amuse:

 

[teaszer]

3) Though shalt not lose concentration whilst ogling the pretty girls

HaHaa I cant help it