How can you spot a company car driver?

[obi_waynne]

I just worked out the other day that people with company cars go over speed bumps without slowing down - I guess they don't have to pay for suspension problems. Then I thought there must be other tell tale signs of a company car driver so what are your suggestions....

 

[obi_waynne]

Briefcase on the roof of the car as they whizz down the road!

 

[blacklineninja]

No indication, no manners, no patience, no neck (fat lazy bloater) and driving a s*** spec BMW, Mercedes Benz, or for some odd reason a Renault.

"Dave, we're giving you a company car!"
"Great! What am I getting? An Audi? A Porsche? An Aston Martin?"
"Errr... No, Dave, it's a Renault"

(Dave produces noose and proceeds to hang himself)

 

[obi_waynne]

Whats up with a Renault - it might be a V6 Clio!

 

[trooper]

Company cars......i think it depends on what car. I work for a telecoms company and the company cars tend to be not too bad, but i have noticed that the cars tend to have the backside ripped out of them, they have more dings on them from reversing into poles, barriers etc.

 

[blacklineninja]

Black Mercedes with yellow wing mirrors - what's that all about?

Yeah, ok, Renault make a V6 Clio. They also make the Clio 1.2 with stock suspension that corners like Rik Waller rolling down a hill on his belly.

 

[obi_waynne]

As an aside - a company put a Robin Reliant as the temp pool car when people have accidents so they have to drive it around until their car is repaired - it almost halved the accident rate! :shock: - I think your telecoms company should try this one Trooper!

 

[thexav]

Suit jacket hangin up in the back and a sat nav taking up the whole windscreen!

 

[trooper]

I dont think the sales reps etc would drive a reliant, but its always worth a suggestion. I have a "new ideas" thing within the company and if it is accepted you get a % bonus of the amount saved up to £25000, so if i get anything i'll have a torque cars night out on me!!! lol :wink:

 

[HDi fun]

Lots of ways to spot company car drivers (I was one for a while, biggest tax liability going - take the cash option) Anway, and this applies to rental fleets as well;-

1. Company cars have much higher in gears speeds that normal cars, especially in reverse.

2. Accelerator and brake pedals replaced by foot operated on/off switches

3. Special tyres that allow you to stop in 3 feet at 80 mph

4. Front bumpers treated to resist exhaust stains from the vehicle in front

5. Cruise control calibrated not in mph but instead adjustable in feet (0-10) from the car in front.

6. Floorpan is a surrogate dustin/ashtray

I'm sure I can come up with more

Rgds,

Paul.

 

[HDi fun]

ANOTHER ONE;-

Optional brain container instead of glovebox

 

[HDi fun]

Here's a few more;-

Optional brain container instead of glove box.

Special engine oil that means servicing is not required for 90,000 miles.

Special light amplifying windsreen so that sunglasses can be worn at 6pm in December

Special tyres that can function as a torque converter when moving off from stationary

 

[HDi fun]

Special transmission that enables gear changes to be made without use of the clutch.

 

[obi_waynne]

You're on a roll HDIfun

 

[vr1066]

Lots of ways to spot company car drivers (I was one for a while, biggest tax liability going - take the cash option) Anway, and this applies to rental fleets as well;-

1. Company cars have much higher in gears speeds that normal cars, especially in reverse.

2. Accelerator and brake pedals replaced by foot operated on/off switches

3. Special tyres that allow you to stop in 3 feet at 80 mph

4. Front bumpers treated to resist exhaust stains from the vehicle in front

5. Cruise control calibrated not in mph but instead adjustable in feet (0-10) from the car in front.

6. Floorpan is a surrogate dustin/ashtray

I'm sure I can come up with more

Rgds,

Paul.

hahahahah class m8, all so true.

 

[HDi fun]

You're on a roll HDIfun

Gotta liven up things at time

 

[obi_waynne]