Excuses to get off a speeding ticket?

[waynne]

Blue lights - sickening feeling in your stomach. Policeman gets out and walks up to your car - very slowly to build the tension. "Ok so wheres the fire son?" . Policeman leans through your window "Did you know you were doing 36 in a 30 zone?" .

I don't know about you but I'm never any good at thinking up witty replies in these sorts of situations so I was hoping you could provide me with a repository of amusing quips or excuses that would get me off a ticket.

(I'm not condoning the excessive speeding in the example above and we will just assume that the above drivers concentration wained - hey that's me a little and the speed crept up without him or her realising .)

[trooper]

The first time i got pulled by the police i had my rottweiler puppy in the car and they were so obsessed with the pup, they forgot what they had pulled me over for......phew!
I have never been caught for speeding, but 2 christmas's ago, i got pulled over in the poilce annual tyre check. My laguna was border line and i told them i was actually on my way to quickfit. They followed me and waiting outside while i got the tyres changed, even though quickfit told me they were still above the legal limit.
I think some police are just in a bad mood at times and like to pick on people.
I know one of my friends got pulled over for speeding and started to cry and said she had just had a big fight with her boyfriend and the police let her off with a warning. She hadnt actually been fighting, she was just in a hurry!!!!

[buddy]

The first time i got pulled by police for speeding i said im very sorry officer but i have just passed my test and didnt realise then i said would you like to see my license as if iwas so excited i had passed my test.he said its ok but in future watch your speed.the second time i done the same......next time i might not be so lucky..

[steveo]

no lie i was doing 63 in a 30 which i thought was a 60 because it had two lanes like a duel carriageway but no. at the time i saw showing of how loud was my mini was.another mod cars i had! anyway got pulled over and he said thats a fast mini for a 998cc i just and said yer.we talked for a bit and he told me he had one then said get on your way and keep to the speed limits. what a result i was so scared i was lookingin my mirrors loads from then and at speed signs!!

[trooper]

you very lucky person

[waynne]

I'm thinking here that I need to be a girlie to stand the best chance of getting off. Might buy a puppy and a mini - maybe that would be enough. Can't pretend to have just passed my test - as my licence is eched on a stone tablet. I had a friend who got stopped for speeding and he said he was only doing what is said on his licence. When the policeman asked what that was he pointed to the bit above the Organ Doner part which clearly says "Tear along dotted line" - he got let off as well!

[trooper]

Thats a good one Waynne, i'll need to remember that.

[steveo]

mum thinks that he was gay thats why he let me off? dont care if he was as i didn't get any points or a fine! my last name is law! funny when they ask my name.

[waynne]

A guy recently said "a friend from south africa was driving" - the Police dropped the charge but got suspicious when it happened another 3 times! They asked to see his car insurance and see if he had added this driver to his policy and at this point he FESSED up. He has just been jailed for 2 years for wasting police time!

[HDi fun]

It always helps to be polite. Do NOT, however, admit to ANYTHING when you're stopped. If you're asked if you knew how fast you were travelling then reply simply 'yes'. It's reasonable to assume that the police don't actually have enough concrete evidence to make a sound case for a formal court hearing. If you reply nn miles per hour that's tantamount to a confession which makes it much harder for you to overturn the fixed penalty offer in a subsequent court hearing.

Asking for evidence of calibration usually winds them up, but, if you think you're being treated unfairly then stick to your guns. Expect a roadside bollocking anyway and no admission of inadequacies on behalf of the police but you might well walk away with nothing to report.

You can also ask the police to be accurate in their statements. I was stopped by an unmarked police pursuit vehicle and accused of travelling at speeds between 109 and 114mph. (This was on a deserted dry dual carriageway BTW, in good light). I asked the officer to be more specific (ie. 109 or 114) as I could not be travelling at both speeds at the same time unless of course their equipment was that far out of alignment. Got away with it after a quick discussion regarding the penalties that COULD (past tense) have been imposed.

Above all - be careful - try not to get caught out.